To my readers

This is the hardest and easiest blog post for me to write. I've been writing this blog regularly for three and a half years. I've really enjoyed sharing insights with you. I've tried to keep my posts short, simple, encouraging and kind so that you can take bits of wisdom that are right for you and use them in your life.

As much as I've enjoyed sharing these insights from my work as a clutter buster, I just today realized that until further notice, I need to stop writing this blog. In fact, I realized this morning that I need to clutter bust every activity that I do that is focused on healing others.

I need to do this because I need to do some deep healing for myself. My health is in critical condition. My lungs are having a very difficult time, and I am working with several top pulmonologists to fix them.

I realized this morning that my life is focused around healing others, and even now, when it is difficult for me to take each breath, I am still worried that people won't love me if I don't try to heal them.

I really like the idea of taking care of myself. It's funny, because I'm always encouraging you to do that and to remove anything from your life that's not supporting you. I repeat it every day! But right now, efforts to heal others are not supporting me in my recovery.

I still want to do the healing for others, even though I know it doesn't help me. But I see the toll it takes because it exhausts me when I'm not feeling well.

So it feels better to let go of this.

I'll keep my blog and website up. Everything's in there -- you can go back for years and get lots of good information. Or you can read my books. I wish you well.

My girlfriend has organized a group of family and friends who visualize healthy lungs and a healthy body for me. At 9pm central time (Chicago time), from all over the world, they all join together for a minute or two and visualize that I can hike and walk around freely; that I am healthy and thriving. Some of them have their phone alarms set so they don't forget.

To me, it feels like a gift to have people sending me healing intentions. If you feel like you would like to join this circle, you don't need to do anything but start doing the prayer/visualization whenever you remember. I know many of you will join this group, and I thank you in advance for your love and support.

Listening for My Voice

A few days ago my girlfriend came back from a trip and gave me a gift of Medicine Cards. They are a deck of cards with animals paintings on each card. It came with a book where the author described what each animal meant in terms of a person's life. (A beaver was acquainted with action.)

I enjoyed looking through the deck of cards. But I was feeling weighed down by the description book. I realized I had an affinity for the animals images. But I didn't care for what another person's meaning was for each animal. No matter how eloquently the person wrote, it was still their interpretation. I was more curious to look at the cards and see what came up for me.

So I let go of the book and felt great.

I find it takes some work to hear my own voice amidst a world that wants me to see things its way.  But it's so worth the effort.

A Chance to Heal

My client related his frustrating experience with dating after his recent divorce. He found himself wanting each woman he went out with to take away his pain. But the excitement of each date was short lived and he often found the pain take over mid-date. Sometimes the excitement wasn't even there to cover up the pain at all.

Even though it wasn't working, he said he kept looking for new dates on line. He still had hope this could make him feel better.

I said a deep wound takes it's time to heal. There's no band-aid or magic salve that can bring relief to the grief. Knowing this could help with the healing. It respects rather than smothers the pain.

My client said he didn't know if he could endure the pain. I said that's because he kept bringing distractions into his life. Distractions don't give the area that's hurt the rest, patience, and care it needs. Distractions have a way of increasing the pain.   

I had my client put his hand on his heart and tell me what he saw. He put his hand on his heart. He said how much it hurt. But at the same time he noticed he was still alive. The pain hadn't killed him. He said there was a lessening of the pain. He said he noticed the warmth coming from his hand and going into his heart. He said it felt like he was being restored in some kind of way.

My client said he suddenly had a thought about checking his email to see if anyone had responded to his queries on a dating site. He said his heart suddenly felt like it was being jabbed by jolts of electricity. It was uncomfortable and he felt the desire to protect his heart. He said that he would like to cancel his dating accounts.

My client went online and cancelled his accounts. He put his hand back on his heart. He said his heart still hurt from the divorce but now the pain somehow made sense to him. There was some kind of peace along with the pain.

Voice of the Mummy!

I remember being eight and let loose in Toys R' Us with $20. My grandparents had given my sister and I a fresh $20 bill each for Christmas. We grabbed our shopping carts and went on a shopping rampage. We knew what we wanted. We'd been primed by ads on the Saturday morning cartoons. We'd also done reconnaissance missions and knew ahead of time where things were.

I grabbed a Voice of the Mummy game. I didn't know how it was played. I just knew from the commercial that the game featured a talking mummy and I had to have it!

My sister and I met up at the register comparing our loot! We couldn't believe our luck.

When we got back home we carried our Christmas booty to our rooms. I unwrapped Voice of the Mummy right away. I added the batteries. I pushed the button that made the mummy talk. I was so excited to hear the mummy's voice. I didn't care that I had no idea what the mummy was talking about. I pressed the button a few more times. I was satisfied. I left the game alone.

Initially it was exciting to have all this new stuff. But most of it rarely got used. Even the six foot long rubber snake! Later on I remember looking at all the stuff and feeling full and sickly. It was weird that something I was so excited about could suddenly become so unappealing. But that was too much to bear, so I figured that the problem was I bought the wrong toys. I thought I should have gotten other toys. I didn't see through the mirage yet. But the seed had been sown.

The allure of stuff, whether it be people, things, or activities is powerful. My experience over the years was that it held a lot of promise.  "When I get _______, then I'll be okay."  I think it took a lot of repeated experiences like the $20 shopping spree to bring home the realization that nothing is going to do it for me.

These days I have a stronger sense of what will fit or not fit in my life. I'm also much less surprised when something I wanted turns out to be not so great.

From Sacred to Trash

It helps to consider yourself first during the clutter bust.

The stuff can be intimidating. It has a way of seeming self-important. It hypnotized you into thinking to leave it alone.

But when you consider yourself first, the stuff starts to lose its sway. Suddenly it's a bunch of things whose presence is bothering you.

I worked with some clients who told me that their son's room would not be part of the clutter bust. I asked why. They said their son had moved out to go to college two years ago and they felt it was important to leave his things untouched.

I opened the door to their son's room and discovered a four foot high wall of their son's stuff covered with pieces of stryofoam. My clients put the styrofoam there so they wouldn't have to look at his stuff. It turns out they didn't like that his stuff was there, but they felt it was the right to honor his things.

I asked how far away he moved. They said an hour away. I asked if he ever comes and gets things. They said no. He bought all new stuff.

I asked my clients to call their son and ask if we could clutter bust his space. They were nervous that he might be upset with him but called him anyway. Their son mentioned three things he wanted them to save, but the rest could go.

My clients went into their son's room and began putting things in bags with great passion. It was as if they had been set free from some great restriction. It's amazing to see the effect in someone when some thing switches from being sacred to becoming trash.

My clients cleared out the room. They found the three items their son wanted to keep. They vacuumed the carpet and then began moving their own stuff in there. They began talking with glee about all the things they wanted to do with the space. 

Is there something in your space that you are making sacred but you actually don't care for anymore? Would you be willing to let this thing go? Please feel free to share your experiences. We all learn from each other.

Your Voice

I remember a client initially feeling very doubtful about letting things go. She looked down a lot and scrunched her eyes so she wasn't seeing much. She was speaking fast and fretful so the quieter knowing part wasn't getting a chance to speak up. She seemed blank on the inside. She seemed like she was possessed by the world.

I picked up a box of stuff and had her come out to the backyard with me. She followed me out there and we sat down on the grass.

I had my client lay back and look up at the sky. I asked her to tell me about the big cloud above us. I did this to help jump start the process from a gentler place. She was silent for a little bit. Then she told me among other things the cloud's name, how it recently had flown here from Antarctica, and that it one day wants to be in a Broadway show.

I asked my client to sit up. She looked open and alive. The light in her eyes said that she was present. I asked if we could go through the things in the box and see what we could find that she no longer liked and used. She said that would be okay. She was able to be present with each item that we went through and she was able to make decisions.

She was so much lighter without the world in her.

When you work on your own, find a way to begin that helps you reconnect with yourself. What could you do that would help bring out your voice?

Removing What Makes You Feel Lousy

My client had a small shrine in her bedroom. It featured a plastic man and woman. Behind them was a drawing of a heart that she had cut out of a magazine. There was a love poem beneath the drawing. There were a few crystals next to the couple, and some lace below their feet.

She told me that she built the shrine so she could attract a great love into her life. She said it was in the feng-shui relationship corner of her house. She sounded sad when she said she'd had the shrine for two years, but she still wasn't in a relationship. 

I asked if she wanted to let go of the shrine. She get defensive and said she couldn't take the shrine down because her desire was still very important to her. I asked her how seeing the shrine made her feel. She said it made her feel lonely because it reminded her that she wasn't with someone. This made her feel lousy, like she was doing something wrong.

I asked if she was doing anything wrong. She thought about it and said that she wasn't doing anything wrong.

I pointed out that every time she saw the shrine she felt something was wrong with her. Plus the shrine constantly reminded her that she didn't have a partner. If she were to let go of the shrine, she wouldn't be letting go of her desire to be in a loving relationship. She would just be removing something that was making her feel lousy.

I said a great way to find love in your life is by starting to be kinder with yourself.

She said she was becoming aware how weary having the shrine was making her feel. She joked that feeling badly for so long about the shrine had probably kept someone from noticing and liking her. I said that she looked so much better when she was being lighter about the whole thing. She took down the shrine.