I was working with a client who told me that she and her husband were having trouble getting along. She complained that he spends a lot of time online. I asked her what she does about it.
She said she tells him, "How much longer are you gonna be online?"
I said, "What do you want?"
She said, "I want to spend time with him."
I said, "No one wants to feel they are wrong. It helps if you say what you want. Like, "I'd love to spend some time with you." It's hard to resist someone speaking from their heart."
We are pretty simple. Our needs are basic. We love connection. A lot of the things we do are to gain connection. Though often we complicate it with our actions. It seems the more complex our lives get the further we get from being happy. Anything that keeps us from our basic needs is clutter. Luckily we have unhappiness as a flashing red indicator light. It tells us that part of us is entangled in clutter. It can be a thing, or an action. It's a good time to slow down and stop and take a look around.
Unravelling feels good.