Monday, March 9, 2009

Why Do We Hold Onto Things? How to Let Go

Here's another question from one of my blog readers: If most of us hate clutter, why do we hold on so tight to it and find it hard to let it go?"

The feeling of hate is the frustration of the experience of being stuck. We like to have the natural feeling of flow in our lives. Blood flows through our veins, electrical impulses flow through our nerves, thoughts flow through our mind. Clutter is all the things in our lives that are no longer supporting us. They don’t give us the feeling of flow.

We often hold onto the clutter because of the memories that we associate with these things. We think of the person who gave it to us, or the experiences we had with the object, or the excitement we felt when we purchased the thing. These feelings are often deep and hidden. Because we’re not aware of them, they often control our actions.

That’s why I ask my clients, “Do you like this, or can we let it go?”. It’s matter of fact and brings them into real time where their source of strength is. If they start to go, “I don’t know, maybe, but what if…”, I realize they are not present; they are involved with the memories. Then I’ll go, “Would you buy this if you were in a store today?”, or “Would you wear this if you were going out tonight?”, or “Would you eat lunch on this today?” They get their strength back and they go, “I can let it go”. They mean it. I go into more details on why we hang onto things in my book.

No comments: