Letting Go of the Fantasy

What sometimes happens in our homes and lives is we have a fantasy about how we would like to live. I see people that buy exercise equipment with the belief that they will use it, but they haven't. I see a lot of unopened DVDs and CDs. Sometimes clients will have clothes that they think they will wear and they don't. There was recently a client who had owned a lot of books, but she just listened to books on tape.

When I go through my clients things with them, it becomes apparent what's not being used. At first they don't want to let the items go because the fantasy they will use them is strong. I ask them how they live their life right now. This helps them see their natural way of doing things. There's a point that comes where they realize the fantasy. They see how trying to maintain it makes them frustrated and tired.

I worked with one client who had a vast collection of spiritual CDs. She even had duplicates of ones that other people had told her were really good. Most of the CDs were still in the wrappers. She told me she felt compelled to buy them, and that she felt guilty she wasn't listening to them. She felt something was wrong with her. I asked her what she hoped to get from listening to the cassettes. She thought about it and then said, "Peace of mind." I asked her what she likes doing now that makes her happy. She smiled and said, "Playing with my dogs!" I said, "Let's go see your dogs."

We went to the backyard. Her dogs ran up to her. She hugged them. Her confusion was gone. She was joyous. I said, "That's peace of mind. Your heaviness is gone. You're happy. Your dogs are giving you what you think you should be getting from the CDs."

We went back into the house and she threw out the CDs.