I helped prepare today's client for a move. She was feeling anxious and didn't know where to start. I told her that I used to work for a moving company. Most of the time we arrived at a client's home, they were still packing. They were grabbing everything and throwing it into boxes. There was a feeling of panic in the midst. No one was ever asking of themselves whether what they packed was something that wanted to take with them or not.
I told her that her move would be very smooth. I said we would go through each item and see if she wanted to bring it with her to her new life. She calmed with the peacefulness of this new approach. We went through her bookcase. She was surprised how many of her books she didn't really care about. They represented an old part of her. We put the books she didn't want in boxes to be taken to the library for donation. We took the books she wanted into packing boxes and labeled them.
With the books out of the book case, she had doubts that she wanted to keep the bookcase. I asked her about it. The bookcase was given to her by her mom. Her mom wanted her to keep it. She didn't like it. But she was worrying about upsetting her mom. Her mom was very controlling. I said, "You do yourself a great service by taking back the reins from your mom. It's not her job to take care of you. It's your life. You can tell her no. This move can bring you back to self-reliance. From there you gain everything. Do you want to pay the extra money to ship this bookcase all the way across the country to avoid hearing the tone of anger in your mom's voice, or do you want your life back?"
She was quiet. Color was returning to her face. She looked strong. She said, "I don't want the bookcase. She's going to have to deal with that."