Last week I worked with a client who is a comedienne. She was originally from New York. She had a big, vibrant personality. She swore and said whatever was on her mind. When I came into her apartment, the first thing I noticed was a metal altar that held a set of Pride and Prejudice VHS tapes. I asked her about them. She got pale, quiet and shrank. I could see she was wrestling with something inside of her. She said it was her way of trying to become more feminine. She'd had a string of bad relationships and blamed herself for not being feminine enough. She felt she was chasing guys away with her strong personality.
I said that this particular definition of femininity didn't fit her. It wasn't part of her nature. And if she did somehow figure out a way to forcefully graft that persona onto herself, she would be miserable. I said that she's better off being herself and finding a guy who likes her as she is. The Jane Austin definition of femininity was clutter for her because it didn't serve her. She laughed hard. She got what she had been doing. She returned to her normal, natural self. She let go of the tapes.
Later I thought about how we sometimes adopt what others think is a good way to live. It's easy to get swayed. But it cringes our own flow of living. I thought about how I was eating "healthy" in a way that others had dictated to me over time. I started eating what I felt good for me in the moment. It was lighter than my usual fare. I cut out vitamins. It seemed to be too hard for my body to try and assimilate 30 concentrated ingredients in a tablet. I feel amazing. My body feels like it's working off the nutrients it needs in the moment.