I worked with a client yesterday who was experiencing difficulty in his relationship with his girlfriend. When he was talking about the problems that he was feeling he looked away from me and his eyes went side to side very quickly. His voice also rose higher in timber. It sounded like he was sped up. He also used a lot of words. It sounded like one long sentence that didn't end. He was also not describing specific actual problems. He was talking about his reactions to what he perceived to be going on.
I stopped him. I asked him to breathe. He took in a deep breath. I asked him if he was comfortable in his chair. He moved his body around to get the right fit. I didn't say anything. I wanted to slow things down for him so he could see more clearly and find a solution for himself. He felt more centered. His eyes stopped moving around and he was awareness was with what was happening in the room. I could see an understanding appearing in him.
He said, "You know, I was panicking because we are coming up on a year together and that's unusual for me. I'm used to dating a lot of women, and they've been turbulent relationships. There's a part of me that's expecting that with my girlfriend, but actually it's not that way. She's easy to get along with. I'm not used to things being easy. Isn't that weird? I'm uncomfortable with something good." He laughed.
The problem was gone. It had been mental clutter. His usual way of dealing with things wasn't serving him. He saw this and it went.