I was working with a couple in their home. The woman was letting go of a lot of things, but the man was resistant. He didn't see that it was necessary. They began to argue between themselves. It got heated.
I asked him what was bothering him. He began to complain about his parents. They had died and he was left with a house full of their stuff. He said it was an agonizing experience to have to wade through it and figure out what to keep and what to throw out. He was feeling very emotional. His wife started to argue with him that this was reason enough for them to clutter bust so their kids didn't have to deal with the same situation. He argued back that he didn't want them to have to deal with it either.
I said, "Both of you are feeling emotional. That's coming from the clutter. There is emotional attachment to all these things. You can't help but feel it. As we go through this stuff, it shakes it up, and that's what's happening. I know it's uncomfortable. But it helps that you recognize it's what's fueling what you are feeling between each other right now...and because you recognize that, you can bring in some tenderness for each other."
They were silent. It felt like they were changing gears. She said, "Yes." He nodded. We continued going through the things in their home. He was much more open to the process. She was supportive of him. They were working together.