Being Kinder to Yourself

Sometimes clutter are things left unfinished. When I go to a client's home, I often find things in piles, files, drawers, cars, on their nightstands that need to be taken care of. Because my clients are overwhelmed, they don't have the capacity in the moment to complete things. We get tired. We do a lot of things during the day. With the addition of cell phones, email and computer, we added quite a lot of things to do in our lives. I see my clients often getting upset at themselves for not finishing things. But under that feeling of upset, I sense frustration. The upset covers up the vulnerability of frustration. It's harder to admit to being vulnerable. We have to admit we are sensitive and tender.

That's why I'm easy on my clients. I don't demand anything from them. I keep it simple so they start to do that themselves. They are fragile in the moment and I want to help them take care of themselves. That's basically what clutter busting is: kindly taking care of yourself. It's okay that we get behind. It's okay that we get tired. It's okay that we didn't do as well as we think we could have. Is there something we can do now? Do we need a break? Would a nap help? Perhaps I should eat something? What's something I'm capable of completing?

One of my clients sat amidst her piles of things and started to cry. She was embarrassed that she was crying. I loved it. People really come alive to me when they are sensitive. A bright shiny part of them exudes. They recalibrate when they let themselves feel. It's kind of like when your computer crashes and you have to shut it down and then start it again. When it comes back it's working fine. When people are themselves, and not trying to protect an image of how they think they should be, I know they are going to be okay.

After she cried, she began to go through her papers. She sniffled as she worked. I could see that she was operating clearly. She could see the things in front of her and begin to take care of things. She threw out papers that she didn't need. She paid bills on line. She mailed things that needed mailing. She made a few calls that needed to be taken care of. She actually started to smile.

So, I think it's worth it to admit when there's too much going on for you. To take a break if you need to. To start to complete things as you are feeling ready.