"It's Not Your Fault"

I was working with a client on her desk space. There were tall stacks of papers, books, and other various things off to the sides of the desk. A lot of the things were unessential to her. They were important to her at some time in the past. She felt guilty that she let these things collect and go unattended. Because she was feeling badly, she had a hard time making decisions and moving forward. Her guilt was getting in the way of her having clarity in the letting go process. Her guilt was clutter.

That often happens with clients. They often feel that they should have been able to prevent the clutter situation. They are hard on themselves as a way of creating change. But it makes them more stuck.

I said, "It's not your fault. You're thinking that you should be noticing everything and because you weren't, it's your fault. But it's not possible to see and be aware of everything. We are focused on the things that matter to us now. The things that are not important go into the background. (I held up a book) Right now, you're focused on this book. The things on the periphery are blurry. You're upset at yourself for not being able to do something that's impossible."

She laughed. She relaxed and we went back to tossing.