I let go of my acting agent last week. I've had some time off the past two weeks and I took stock of what was going on in my life and I realized that having an acting agent and auditioning for parts in commercials and films was no longer an important part of my life.
I felt a sense of loss with my decision. I took a look inside and saw a part of me identified with being an actor. I used to act in plays, commercials and low budget films, but that was a long while ago.
It's fascinating to see how an identification and attachment can be there even though the acting was no longer a part of my life. Part of it was the memories. Another part was a feeling of specialness. I got a lot of attention for those jobs. But that's no longer important to me. Taking a look helped the sadness fade and go.
The nice benefit I got was the big feeling of relief. I was being drained by doing something that didn't matter to me. By letting an old area of my life go, I felt my innate personal resources come back. I didn't realize they were gone until they returned. My head and heart felt quieter. I felt a lot more present with the people that matter to me.