While I was clutter busting myself this morning, I found some old acting head shots. I no longer pursue acting work. I thought I purged all the head-shots a ways back. But then there they were, smiling back at me.
I felt a twinge in my stomach. I was remembering the fun I used to have in that career. I had a good time pretending to be a bunch of wacky characters. But over time I lost interest and no longer enjoyed the career. I felt the pull of the memories of the past in contrast to the uncomfortableness of something that didn't fit me anymore.
I can see how the memories can make something seem alluring because they feel good to me. But in this current moment, it doesn't feel good for me to be actor. So I tossed the head shots. It was such a relief. I felt my body and mind relax in ways that I hadn't noticed were up to that moment tense.
I also wanted to share with you an inspiring email that I received this week:
"I think your mission is kindness. You made me think about my mom; I had the hardest time finding ways to feel kindness toward her - we just didn't get along. Finally, I found a way to see her that let me feel kindly, just a few weeks before she died. We still had a few disagreements, but I am so happy I had that time, without all the mental clutter of thinking she could be different.
Also, I am letting go of a big teak buffet this week. I used it as a dresser. Then, I realized every time I looked at the foot of the bed, there was my ex-husband! Yikes! I can't wait to say goodbye!"