Living Without Things We Hate

"A question: Today I looked at the rug I have by the piano, which my neighbor gave to me. It's old and needs a cleaning and has to be cut down if I were to keep it. Actually I hate it but need something in that space so I keep it. I feel I want to get rid of it but also feel I may be sorry since I'm not working and really don't want to buy another one now. On the other hand I tell myself you have to make room for something new to come into your life and you may surprise yourself if you just let it go."

"All the things this neighbor has sold me or given to me - the ugly chair in the living room, the glass thing my TV is on, the thing my computer sits on in the bedroom, lamps - all must go. I really want to get his vibe out of the apt. What's holding me back is the thought of having to buy new things now."

Your words, "Actually I hate it" is enough reason to get something out of your apartment. If we hate something, its presence hurts us. Hate is hard on us. You're better off not having any rug than that one. Again, your reaction is your answer. I can tell you're feeling some resistance, but that's an aversion to change. That fear makes us think, "If I get rid of this thing that I don't like, I may end up with something I hate even more." It's a strange logic and we all think it at some point. But it's a fantasy thought not based on what actually is. The only truth is you don't like the neighbor's stuff in your apartment. We're better off making a decision on what is, not what's possible.

You wrote, "What's holding me back is the thought of having to buy new things now." I think you're better off removing the furniture that bothers you. You're used to living with these things and the pain they cause you, so you feel you can live with the pain. But living that way exhausts you and compromises your clarity. This closes you off from solutions.

It's okay living with the empty space that letting go of these things would cause you. It's a better and kinder feeling. When I first moved into my new apartment a month and a half ago, I couldn't afford to fully furnish it. I found myself enjoying the extra open space. It was calming. Since then I've gotten a few more pieces of furniture out of the blue as gifts from friends. They fit and enhance the space. One of which is a beautiful and comfortable leather couch from which I'm now sitting and typing to you.