Clutter is often subtle. This thing is in our life, wrecking some kind of havoc, but we're not aware of the cause and effect. Or we explain away the clutter's detrimental effects. Meanwhile this thing that is not serving us takes its toll.
One of my friends recently broke up with her husband. Their relationship was co-critical. They were constantly snipping at and unkind towards each other. This made them exhausted and kept them on edge which took away clarity from other parts of their lives. She felt so overwhelmed that she had to go off on a vision quest weekend and it was there she realized that her marriage was clutter. They had split up before because of the animosity. But this time there seems to be a finality to their relationship.
I recognized some clutter in my own life this weekend. I hung out with some new friends who were funny. They were silly in a friendly way that was refreshing. When they talked about problematic areas of their life, they used humor. A lot of my friendships over the past few years have been with people who often dwell on their problems with a heavy seriousness. I think I stuck with the friendships because I was used to being around people who are deeply overwhelmed. My job as a clutter buster involves helping people who are buried alive under dire situations. I love my job, but it doesn't serve me to be a clutter buster in non-work situations. Living that old way made me feel tired and heavy. When I became aware of this, I feel like I got a lighter part of myself back.