I just got back from my Clutter Busting talk at East West bookshop in Seattle and want to share some good moments.
One woman asked about a table that she made many years ago. She said she can't get herself to let it go. She hears her mom's voice telling her she has to hang onto it. Her mom passed away a while back. I could feel the anguish in her heart. I asked if she likes or uses the table. She said no. But then she said she used the table as a place to stack papers and other things she no longer uses. When she realized the table, something she didn't care for anymore, was a place to hold things she didn't want anymore, she started to laugh so hard her face turned red and she couldn't speak. She decided to let them go.
A man said hanging onto things that we don't love isn't good for our health. I agreed. When we live with multitudes of unmade decisions, clutter are things we haven't taken the time to question and realize their lack of inherent value in our life, we live with a nervousness and fear that takes a toll on our bodies. I know because when I see people get rid of what they no longer love, they feel relief. It's as if their heart let go of a heavy and debilitating weight. You can hear the sigh inside a person.
A woman said she didn't want to let go of things because she was afraid she would forget her memories. I asked what memories. She said memories of when she was successful. She looked very sad as she shared her fear of letting go. I said it's hard on us to analyze and judge the worth of our lives. It's not an honest view. There are often a lot of unmet emotional needs in our definition of success. It doesn't fuel us to enjoy and inspire our lives.
I said when I work with clients, I don't think about what they've done with their lives, or who they are, I see them as naturally special people who are buried under the rubble of their clutter. The woman said it helped to see how her holding on was creating despair in her. I encouraged her to work gently and compassionately with herself when letting go. The gentleness will allow insights to come in, and helps a person discover a clutter busting flow that works best for them.