When we live with things, people or activities that don't serve us, we get tired. Our well being is constantly disrupted by what's not serving us. It's like having a stone in our shoe as we are out walking all day. We can even get used to having the stone in our shoe and think it's normal.
This is about learning to be comfortable again. It's our right to feel good. It's in our best interest to take care of ourselves. We gain nothing when we put ourselves second to anything. When we take care of ourselves, we are in a good place to take care of the things that matter to us.
I worked with a client who was exhausted with taking care of her children, home and husband. I said because she wasn't doing any self-care, taking care of her family and home were clutter. That was hard for her to hear because she believed that you put others first. But by ignoring our needs, we lose our essential energy. We're no longer capable of helping others.
My client didn't know how to begin to take care of herself. So we created some private space for her in her home by clearing out some stuff in a spare room that no one in her family was using. We put things in this space that meant a lot to her. I said this would be her sanctuary in her home. She could spend time in this space and recharge. I likened it to putting gas in the car, getting a tune up, and getting the car washed.
Just by moving in the direction of taking care of herself, she was looking lighter and refreshed.