I was thinking about how what we like doesn't remain constant. What we need and like in one moment, we won't in another. But our minds remember the liking and enjoyment and assume it will always be there. That contributes to holding on to something that no longer serves us.
Last week I worked with a client by helping her go through her cookbooks. She didn't want to go through the books because she assumed she liked them all. I suggested she give it a try. We went through one book at a time.
Sometimes when I asked her, "Are you using this book to cook your meals?" she would immediately and vibrantly say, "Yes!" But with other cookbooks, she paused and got a distant dreamy look. I'd ask her again. I felt like I was calling to her from down a tunnel. She would say, "Well, I used to cook with it."
I told her that this particular cook book was making her weak. She was remembering how it used to be a part of her life. She was off in the past. It's hard to be grounded when we're not here. She saw the effect these books were having on her, and she let them go.
I noticed the same effect when I started reconnecting with old friends on facebook. Initially I felt exhilarated as my mind would flood with positive memories. But I never felt present with these feelings. I felt distant and tired. It was nice to say hi, but I didn't feel these relationships were a part of my life anymore. It was a relief to not try and hang on to them anymore.