Waking Up from a Trance

Someone wrote in the comment's section, "I was overtired and made the mistake of staying up, then started browsing things for sale on the internet, and ended up buying supplies for a craft I used to do but don't really anymore...I used to love it but lately it has lost its luster for me. I went to bed and I lay there thinking "why did I buy them?" and I realized that I really don't have the desire to do that craft anymore, so it was like my brain went haywire for half an hour there, lol."

It's going to happen. Even though we know how to spot and remove clutter, we're going to now and then buy something we don't actually need. It's programmed into our being to search for stuff when we're feeling out of sorts. Because we were tired, sad, lonely, confused, or mad, we automatically searched for something to distract us from these feelings.

We often realize what we've done right after the buying. The clutter trance is gone and we can see clearly again. If we can, it helps to be nice to ourselves after an incident like this. We may think we could've helped it, but we couldn't. It happened and now it's over. What we can do for ourselves is return the item. Or if we can't, we can donate it.

Maybe we learn a new red flag from this experience. "When I feel tired, or depressed, and I want to shop, I'm going to take a nap or go for a walk instead." Or maybe we just learn to be nice to ourselves when we do something silly.

Yesterday, I was feeling out of sorts being in a new city. I didn't sleep well last night. I was feeling lonesome. It was raining. I didn't understand that my friend's electric stove top heats up faster and more intense than a gas stove, and I burned some potatoes, destroying the pot in the process, and making the house I'm staying at smell like smoke.

I got in my car with these dour experiences resonating inside me. (Unnoticed red flag!) I went shopping for groceries and bought potato chips, chocolate, and figs. Foods that tend to make me edgy, and certainly aren't grounding. I got halfway through the chocolate and realized this was fuel to the fire. The trance was over. I stopped.

I drove out to the desert and went for a long walk. I felt my strong sense of self return. That's what I was looking for all along.