Naturally Occuring

Yesterday I was feeling sad. I didn't know why. And the feeling built through the day. I didn't have work to distract me from the sadness, so I gave up trying to resist the strong feelings. I think the worst part of being sad is trying not to be. It can feel like trying to push a river the opposite direction.

Last night I had a dream where I was sitting in my high school bedroom's closet. The closet was filled with about twenty paper bags of stuff. Each bag had stuff from when I was ten to eighteen. I was clutter busting my way through them. One bag was filled with receipts of everything I purchased. When I looked at a receipt, I was holding the actual thing I paid for. Another bag had a photo of everything I'd done. The photos were moving images. There was a bag of feelings that I'd held inside. One was a bag of miscellaneous ambitions. As I went through things, as I acknowledged them, they evaporated. I felt stronger as each thing went.

I woke up feeling lighter. The sadness was gone. I thought that my experience the previous day, combined with the dream was an emotional clutter bust. I didn't set out to do this letting go. It happened. I think when sadness or anger or other strong uncomfortable emotions come up without a particular reason behind them, they are our bodies and minds naturally clutter busting. Kind of like when a snake sheds its skin.