The main tool in clutter busting is questioning. We're asking what's the value of the things in our lives. "Do I love and use you, or can I let you go?" If you don't ask, then chances are you're living with some things that hinder you and get in the way of your peace of mind.
I asked yesterday's phone client to describe the things in her bedroom. She told me about books she had stacked on the nightstand and floor next to her bed. I suggested we go through the books one at a time. She was apprehensive because they were self-help books and she needed help.
I encouraged her to give it a try. She picked up the first book. It was a book about "becoming a better you." I asked if she read the book and was it helping her. She made a groan and said, "I tried reading it, but I couldn't make myself read it anymore." I asked if she could let it go. She said, "I don't think I can, I need the motivation." She sounded exhausted.
I said that everyone has a different way of being inspired. Some people are motivated by books. Some are motivated by a speaker or a coach. Others are encouraged by the lives of others. Some are inspired from within. I said the evidence points to her not being motivated by books. They made her tired and discouraged. It sounded like she was trying to motivate herself into reading them.
My client said, "I've self helped myself into my self-confidence being gone. These books tell me something's wrong with me. They feel like a demand to me. 'Live life to the fullest!' That's a lot of work. 'Love New Beginnings!' That means I have to love new beginnings. I just want to enjoy my life."
I said it sounded like her self-help books were clutter. Her inspiration came from within.
She said, "Is that okay?"
I said, "Nobody speaks to you except for you."
She let the books go.