Growing Up

My experience is that life is constantly changing. Even when I don't notice.

Sometimes my mind acts from the past. It hasn't caught up to what's happening in the moment. It usually takes running into an obstacle that makes me take notice.

Last night I was talking to my dad on the phone and he wasn't feeling well. I felt sad for him and it hurt my heart. Then I got the sense that I'm not a kid anymore. I've known that physically for a long while (I turn 51 next week!). But there was a sudden sense that I was older emotionally. I felt grounded. An immaturity fell away. It felt like a good fit.

The inner clutter is the hardest to see. It's so close that it often goes unrecognized. I was glad for the illumination.