Turning to Kindness

My client said, "I'm so harsh on myself. I feel like a team that's constantly reminding itself of its worst defeats. I feel like those monks in Monty Python and the Holy Grail that are hitting themselves in head with boards."

I said that we're fragile and we can't take that kind of impact from ourselves. It's like punching yourself in the heart, really hard. The most delicate part of yourself - punching it. It's unprotected because it's coming from inside you. 

I think we're used to it being okay to be critical of ourselves. We think it's normal.  But I've never met anyone that this works for. It leaves people feeling defeated and exhausted.

I told my client that the fact that she was clutter busting with me in that moment meant that she actually cared about herself. She was doing something to take care of herself.

I asked her how that felt. She thought about it. I could see the self-hatred lift off her face. It was like watching the sun come out.