Learning to Take Care of Myself

Sometimes the way we interact with others can be clutter for us. 

I used to have the habit of giving too much. I think there was some radar in me that looked for people that needed help. Once I found them I'd try and help without their asking. It was hard on me because I was always tired afterwards. Like I had a huge savings account in my heart and I spent all of it on the person I was helping.

I think some part of me felt I could get other people's love if I helped them out. I was addicted to being wanted and appreciated.   

The exhausting hangover afterwards made me realize that I was hurting myself by trying to get love in this way. It felt like self abuse and I didn't want to do it anymore and I decided to stop.

For a little while it felt odd. It seemed too quiet. But that was the absence of the drama. Eventually I started liking the quietness that took its place. 

Clutter busting came along and I discovered it was a healthy way to help people. They came to me, rather than me seeking them out. I never try and talk people into clutter busting. Plus there's a healthy exchange of money for the assistance. Lastly, I don't tell people what to do. I ask questions and help the person discover what's clutter for themselves.

Recently, I offered to give away a free hour of clutter busting to one random person each week that wrote a comment on my facebook, blog or twitter pages. I was thinking it would be a good way to advertise my phone clutter busting services and to encourage people to share their clutter busting experiences. But after a few weeks I had an odd feeling. I looked into the feeling and realized that the clutter busting services usually only work when people approach me. It takes openness on the other person's part for the clutter busting to happen and have a positive effect. Offering to help without their asking didn't work for them or for me.

I was grateful for the red flag that was waving in front of me. Once again, the discomfort became an indicator that something had to change. I decided to drop the free hour contest. I can feel the relief.