The Kindest Solution

I use the word kindness a lot. I use it in my own life. I encourage clients to be kind while clutter busting. Kindness can't be overused.

Being kind to ourselves is easy to forget. Often during a period of personal transformation, we feel uncomfortable and tend to blame ourselves for getting stuck.

Blame is used as a whip to give us that extra energy to "motivate" ourselves. But whipping adds to the discomfort. It increases the overwhelm.

We can think that if we're kind to ourselves we won't do anything. It can seem like wasted energy. When we're feeling stuck, we might feel we don't deserve kindness.

But my experience is kindness is the only thing that works. Kindness is love. Love is psychic fertilizer. It renews us. Kindness tells us we're okay. We realize we're temporarily stuck in a transition. It's normal to feel out of place during a period of big change. It's not our fault change happened. We're in the midst of some difficulty and kindness helps quieten our mind so we can think clearly.

I was talking with a client about his clutter situation that involved inheriting a great amount of things from his deceased parents. His parents' things were inhabiting his guest room and part of his living room. He was overwhelmed with having to deal with these things. He was also feeling badly with himself because he was stuck.

I said it made sense he was overwhelmed. It's hard on our hearts when someone close to us dies. There's a great feeling of loss. A lot of our personal resources are being used for grief. It's okay to tend to our hearts when they are hurting. It serves us.

I had him sit in a comfy chair, put his hands on his heart, and close his eyes. I asked him to breathe into his heart. He said his heart hurt. I said that I was sure it did. He said that his heart felt tight. I said that was natural. I asked him to keep breathing into his heart.

He was quietly breathing for a while. Then he started crying. He cried for a while. When he stopped crying, I asked him to breathe into his heart some more. I said his heart could use the support and encouragement.

A few minutes later he said he was ready to take a look at his parents' things. There was an openness in him that made him ready to begin the clutter bust.