When We're Stuck

The Clutter Busting Your Life Tele-seminars that I do Saturday at noon have found their flow. We had a great one this past weekend.

One of the participants shared a story about some things she inherited from her grandmother. They were old photographs, medals, some Civil War artifacts, and their documentation. No one in her family wanted them. Neither did she. She said, "But, I can't throw them away because I feel obligated and guilty. I think they should be important. But I don't really want them. I don't want to be the keeper of everything. But then I feel guilty and hang on to them."

She was stuck. Sometimes a sense of what we want to do battles with what we think we should do. A part of her wanted to let go of the inheritance items, while another part felt the obligation to hang on to them.

"Shoulds" are powerful because they are backed by guilt. Guilt takes away our inner stability. It makes us fold because we feel we are wrong. Then we are guilty and uncomfortable in our homes.

I kept coming back to the discomfort, because the discomfort was the source of the guilt. If she genuinely wanted to keep the items, there would be neither discomfort nor guilt.

I likened it to having a house guest that was making her life miserable. I wanted her pain to take precedence. The more we can be aware of the pain something in our life is making us feel, the loudness of the guilt fades, and we have a chance to get our feet back on the ground. It's easier for us to make a decision to let the source of the pain go.

She admitted how uncomfortable it was to be in the inheritance caretaker position. She realized she didn't know anyone in the photographs. She said they could be anyone.

Someone else at the tele-seminar suggested she could donate the inheritance to a historical society. She said it had never occurred to her that anyone else would want those things. She said it made her feel a lot better that they could go to a good home. She decided that's what she would do.

She started laughing. That's the relief that comes from letting go.


Our next Clutter Busting Your Life Tele-seminar is this Saturday, September 15th at Noon Central.

To register: Pay $10 via PayPal. Within 24 hours you will receive the phone number and access code to use on Saturday.