Imagine a person is crossing the street and falls and scraps their knee. We happen to be a few feet behind them. We wouldn't say, "What an idiot! I can't believe you fell in the street and can't get up. You're probably going to get run over." Our instinct would probably be to help the person up and move them safely off of the road.
But in a situation where we feel overwhelmed by our clutter, when we don't know where to begin and feel helpless, when we most need the support - we can find ourselves adding to the misery by heaping on self-condemnation. "I shouldn't have let it get so bad. I'm a terrible person. What's wrong with me? I'm never going to be able to find my way out of this."
The thing is when it comes to clutter, we've fallen in the middle of the street. We're hurt and need our help getting up.
Someone recently wrote me saying, "It's easy to condemn yourself."
It is part of our culture to be self-critical. I think we grow up with it from teachers and our parents and keep the tradition alive via our own voices. There's a feeling that it can help us change for the better.
But my experience is belittling ourselves is clutter because it keeps us from the change that we're hoping it inspires.
Reading this won't stop blame from starting. But it might spur you to back away from the harshness when it arrives. You sense its bitterness and lose your attraction to continue berating yourself.
If you find you have trouble caring for yourself in this way, email me at brooks@clutterbusting.com and we'll set up a phone appointment to discuss your situation.