As we began the clutter bust, my client said she was scared. I asked about what. She said she was afraid she might throw out something that she'll regret later. I said that fear is what got her into this particular clutter situation.
My client said that she didn't know how she could get rid of her fearful thoughts. I said she could leave them be. But she could try not using the fears as a resource anymore. She could try to not ask her fears for their advice.
We can get used to living scared. It can become a habit to think of the worst future scenarios and act from this place. But it's hard on our bodies and minds.
To go the other, saner way requires focusing and acting based on what's true for you now.
I told my client that we would refocus her awareness by going through her things one piece at a time and asking if she currently likes and uses the item or if it could go.
I had my client pick out a pair of shoes from her clothes closet. I asked her if she liked and wore them. She said the shoes never felt comfortable. I asked, based on her current feelings, if she could let the shoes go. She said, "The fear part of me says 'but what if I change my mind and want to wear them for an event?' But the things is, I don't want to hang on to things that make me feel like crap anymore." She let the shoes go.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
2 comments:
Hi Brooks,
~~She said, "The fear part of me says 'but what if I change my mind?' But the things is, I don't want to hang on to things that make me feel like crap anymore." She let the shoes go.~~
I have the same question---what if I'm wrong (in tossing this thing)? And I never get to the second part of it. I don't let the shoes go. How does one deal with intense stuckness like that?
It can help to notice the feeling of fear that makes you hold on so tight. You don't need to try and get rid of the feeling. But it can be revealing to notice how the fear feels in your body. The fear is a tension. It's often in the stomach and or back, sometimes in the neck. It doesn't feel good. By noticing the effects, you see what holding on to this thing out of fear does to you.
By taking this honest look, you see that in hanging on to this thing, you're also getting the detrimental feeling that comes along with the thing. It can be very sobering. Give this a try and see what happens. Maybe it will help you let go of the shoes and the stuckness too.
Post a Comment