One of my recent clients asked if it was okay if she started a maybe pile. It was a pile where she could put things that she wasn't sure about. She wanted to be able to come back to these things later.
She wasn't the first client to ask for this. The attempted "maybe" pile comes up a lot with the clients that I work with.
I say that maybe is a red flag that something is clutter.
If you are uncertain about something, that means it's not part of your life. If something was actually an important part of your life, you wouldn't hesitate to say, "Yes."
Think of something right now that really matters to you, that you really care about, that is part of your life. Do you want to keep it or do you want to let it go?
I imagine you want to keep it. I don't think you want to put it in a maybe pile.
"Maybe" is the part of us that says, "I don't need this anymore, but I don't want to let it go." You may not know the reason why you want to hang on to it. But it's worth noticing the indecisiveness, the hemming and hawing, the
uncertainty that you experience when feeling maybe about something. Those are uncomfortable feelings. Living with maybes takes away your peace of mind and leaves you feeling unsettled.
I would trust the message your body is sending. "I'm not comfortable with this. Something feels wrong."
My recent client, after considering what "maybe" meant to her, said, "The last thing I need is a warehouse full of 'maybes.'" She ditched the maybe pile.
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6 comments:
I read your first book months ago. It was like a switch had been flipped...it's amazing. I started de-cluttering 1 item per day, but found a challenge via Facebook that ended with me de-cluttering 2,012 items in 2012. I got rid of tons (still have more than I want, but slow and steady wins right?). One thing that helped is what this post is about...the maybes. Even now when I'm out shopping for something, I still hear your voice in my head when I ask myself if I need/really want it. If it's a maybe, I hear "Red flag. Red flag." Odd, but it works. lol
Gennevia, I'm glad the red flag for maybes works for you!
Normally when we think of maybe, that discriminating part of our mind goes to sleep. I find it helps to be matter of fact with any kind of discomfort that comes up.
Wow, you are letting go of so many things! Yes, slow and steady is the way to go.
Oh, dear, the "just in case" pile also makes an appearance around here sometimes. :) I've been working on getting this "Justin" guy out of my house. :p
My house is one big "maybe" pile -- that's why I'm living with so much clutter and it's a constant problem in my life. It's an easy way out of decision-making, which is my issue.
I've put a sign on refrigerator that says "Do I use it?" I need that guidance to decide if I'll miss my items. It's surprising how little I really use.
Monica, talking about "Justin" like we're doing will make it easier for you to start to let go of your need for "Justin".
Polkadotpup, decision-making can seem overwhelming when you consider all the clutter decisions that need to be made. The kind solution is to reduce what you consider. The best solution I've found is to pick a very small and doable area, and question these things only. We all do better when there are less things on our plate. It's a kind approach because you're admitting that you're overwhelmed and your capacities are reduced. A little at a time is easier. When you finish that small area, you set a time to work on the next small area. You might want to bring in a friend in to help you stay focused and make decisions. Make sure they are non-judgemental.
Pat, I like your sign!
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