Opening Up to the Present

My client cried as she said, "I have such a hard time with these things. They're the toys my grandsons used to play with when they came over. They're adults now, but I don't want to get rid of their toys because I think I'll forget what it used to be like when they were boys."

I could feel the anguish in her voice. I told her it's hard to hang on to things out of the fear that you'll forget something. We don't do well with fear. Especially fear that we keep alive by our actions.

I asked if she had a good relationship with her grandsons. She said that she spoke with them regularly on the phone and saw them three to four times a year. I said that it was great that she got to enjoy them now, just like she got to enjoy them when they were kids. Maybe if she were to let go of the old toys that she was having a hard time with, there would be more of her available to enjoy her grandsons as they are now.

My client said she realized that part of her was not available for her grandsons now because of her attachment to them as kids. She said the thing she really cared about was her connection with her grandsons as they were in this moment. She felt if she let go of their old toys, she would be okay, because she would still have her grandsons, and they would have her.