A Chance to Heal

My client related his frustrating experience with dating after his recent divorce. He found himself wanting each woman he went out with to take away his pain. But the excitement of each date was short lived and he often found the pain take over mid-date. Sometimes the excitement wasn't even there to cover up the pain at all.

Even though it wasn't working, he said he kept looking for new dates on line. He still had hope this could make him feel better.

I said a deep wound takes it's time to heal. There's no band-aid or magic salve that can bring relief to the grief. Knowing this could help with the healing. It respects rather than smothers the pain.

My client said he didn't know if he could endure the pain. I said that's because he kept bringing distractions into his life. Distractions don't give the area that's hurt the rest, patience, and care it needs. Distractions have a way of increasing the pain.   

I had my client put his hand on his heart and tell me what he saw. He put his hand on his heart. He said how much it hurt. But at the same time he noticed he was still alive. The pain hadn't killed him. He said there was a lessening of the pain. He said he noticed the warmth coming from his hand and going into his heart. He said it felt like he was being restored in some kind of way.

My client said he suddenly had a thought about checking his email to see if anyone had responded to his queries on a dating site. He said his heart suddenly felt like it was being jabbed by jolts of electricity. It was uncomfortable and he felt the desire to protect his heart. He said that he would like to cancel his dating accounts.

My client went online and cancelled his accounts. He put his hand back on his heart. He said his heart still hurt from the divorce but now the pain somehow made sense to him. There was some kind of peace along with the pain.