Removing What Makes You Feel Lousy

My client had a small shrine in her bedroom. It featured a plastic man and woman. Behind them was a drawing of a heart that she had cut out of a magazine. There was a love poem beneath the drawing. There were a few crystals next to the couple, and some lace below their feet.

She told me that she built the shrine so she could attract a great love into her life. She said it was in the feng-shui relationship corner of her house. She sounded sad when she said she'd had the shrine for two years, but she still wasn't in a relationship. 

I asked if she wanted to let go of the shrine. She get defensive and said she couldn't take the shrine down because her desire was still very important to her. I asked her how seeing the shrine made her feel. She said it made her feel lonely because it reminded her that she wasn't with someone. This made her feel lousy, like she was doing something wrong.

I asked if she was doing anything wrong. She thought about it and said that she wasn't doing anything wrong.

I pointed out that every time she saw the shrine she felt something was wrong with her. Plus the shrine constantly reminded her that she didn't have a partner. If she were to let go of the shrine, she wouldn't be letting go of her desire to be in a loving relationship. She would just be removing something that was making her feel lousy.

I said a great way to find love in your life is by starting to be kinder with yourself.

She said she was becoming aware how weary having the shrine was making her feel. She joked that feeling badly for so long about the shrine had probably kept someone from noticing and liking her. I said that she looked so much better when she was being lighter about the whole thing. She took down the shrine.