When an Ideal is Clutter

My client was feeling frustrated about piles of things in her home that she wasn't using, but she hadn't been able to let go of for years. She said, "I don't want to just give these things away. I want to sell them, or make something out of them, or give them to someone who really appreciates them, but just give them away?...It's like, ahhhh, You must do something great with it."

I said that was an ideal. That's normal to have ideas about what to do with your things, like "This should go to someone specific or special, this shouldn't just go to anybody." But this way of thinking wasn't helping her get these things she didn't like or use out of her house.

She said, "I would love if that did it, but something is holding me back, but I don't know what it is."

I said that it could help to see that hanging on to her ideal as the only solution wasn't working for her. It was clutter because it wasn't making her take action.

If something is not serving you, if it's bothering you, that's enough of a reason to get it out of the house. Waiting for the right circumstances won't benefit you. You won't feel better until the clutter goes.

My client said, "It's chronic that I keep thinking my stuff needs to go to the right person. It frustrates me that I do this."

I said it helps to honestly notice how something is affecting you. Seeing the discomfort in detail helps to break the spell. It becomes harder to hold on to something the more you notice the pain and distress that it causes you.

I said she needed the relief of the clutter leaving her home. If she gave these things away to a charity shop, they would go to people who want them. The items will be used and loved by someone else. How perfect is that? You don't see the person getting the item, but in the same way when you give money to a reliable charity, you can trust that it ends up in the right hands.

My client decided that she liked the alternative to her ideal. She let go of the ideal and decided to donate the items.