Saying "No" to Abuse

This week a couple of clients brought up a common issue. One spoke of how dejected and exhausted she felt every time she came home and saw her clutter. She also said that even though she rarely used most of her things, she had a hard time letting any of them go.

Another spoke of an organization she belonged to. She did hundreds of hours of free work for the group, but was never acknowledged for her work. They were also rude in the way they interacted with her. Even though she felt badly about how she was treated, she felt obliged to help them.

I told both my clients that when stay in a situation that causes you pain, you are in an abusive relationship. You're making the pain okay.

It's understandable because we live in a society where abuse, and acceptance of abuse is common. It can seem like it's something that we have to put up with.

I told my clients that no level of abuse is okay. You get to say no to a situation that causes you pain. You get to walk away when you are being hurt.

When it comes to being abused by the presence of things in your home that cause you anxiety, you can stop protecting them, and let them go. Nothing is of any value when it hurts you. No thing.

It's learning to say, "I'm important. My well-being matters. It's right for me to say 'this hurts!' and do what I need to do to remove it from my life. My feeling good is more important than any thing. I'm going to protect myself."

When we are in a situation where we are being hurt in any way by a group or individual, we can say, "What you are doing hurts me and it's going to stop or I'll leave" or we can leave.

You take your life back when you say, "No amount of abuse is okay." You can't lose when you take care of yourself in this way. It actually feels powerful to say, "No!" and to take the appropriate action.