I told the relationship troubled client in yesterday's blog post to imagine his heart was a three year old child. I asked him what he would he do to protect and take care of his heart. I wanted him to understand how delicate his heart was. I think we have mental images of being tougher than we are.
I focus a lot on kindness. When I work with a client, my job is to help them be kind to themselves. It's hard on them to live amidst things they no longer care for. Imagine living with someone you don't like anymore. It can take a toll.
We have reasons why we hang on to things that don't support us. But I ask you to ignore those reasons. I ask you to only consider yourself. When I ask a client if they like a particular thing, I'm asking if this thing helps them take care of themselves now. Is this thing a good match for them.
I had a recent client who kept telling me the reasons why the things in her home were good products. She didn't say they were good for her. She sounded like a commercial for these things. I told her I didn't care about their general use. I wanted to know if they were good roommates for her. Were these things assisting her and making her life better? Or were they distracting her and making her life difficult?
This is about checking in with your heart about each thing in your life. We come alive when are hearts are tended to. We feel a satisfaction that we can never get from any thing.
Wednesday's blog post moved me to tears. I have a similar relationship with my sister-in-law where phone calls can run smooth for awhile then I am slammed with cutting remarks or sarcastic comments. The following days are spent reliving the conversation over and over in my head, questioning what I said to deserve the spitefulness. Your post has given me a better insight into this matter.
ReplyDeleteA few years ago I was given a "Feelie Heart" when I lost a darling Aunt to pancreatic cancer. These hearts are handmade from soft fabric, big enough to hold in the palm of your hand, small enough to fit into a pocket to carry everywhere and not be noticed - holding, rubbing or kneading this soft little heart in your hand is like holding and caressing your real heart during times of pain and hurt. These soft little hearts were originally designed for children to help with their grieving when they had lost a loved one. They are given to adults too, I still have mine and though a little worn and tattered now I carry it with me everywhere, it is now helping me as I clutter bust people who no longer have a place in my life.
Thank you Brooks.
Hi Jillian, I'm sorry about your experiences with your sister-in-law. I can tell that really hurts. You step into a conversation with her and you are hit by her bus.
ReplyDeleteI like the sound of the "Feelie Heart" I love that you take it with you everywhere, and that it helps you!